Dear Brides,

Weddings! Let me just start of by saying- “Isn’t this time supposed to be one of the most exciting times in most people’s lives?” Well I’m sorry, but it doesn’t feel that way to me! Don’t get me wrong, there are some exciting points like browsing and shopping for everything wedding related online, wedding dress shopping, ring shopping, planning the most exciting girls night out and of course marrying your best friend. But other than that, It’s pretty darn stressful!

My wedding is coming up in nothing short of a few months and whenever I think about it, I feel myself going crazy! Come on! This is not what I had envisioned as a 6 year old! Most times I have to hit myself with a dose of reality and remind myself that life is no easy fairytale and that I am no longer 6! Some girls dream of every detail of their wedding from this age. They dream of their pretty princess dress, hundreds of beautiful flowers everywhere, 5-star restaurant worthy food, and fancy drinks. Not to mention, having everyone come from far and wide to witness them being married to their prince charming. They think, “I am a princess for one day!” and that’s where all the pressure starts for most brides.

The world has created a certain perception of what your wedding should be and what it should look like. But is this really realistic? As you get older, life starts to happen and it brings with it a lot of different responsibilities. This idea of a fairytale wedding no longer seems practical or smart anymore. It seems expensive! Brides, including myself go through so many ideas of what type of wedding they think they want, it’s actually quite ridiculous! My fiancé and I went from planning a Pinterest worthy wedding, to talking about eloping, to having a small, intimate backyard wedding. What happens, is that you start planning the wedding you think you want and then all the opinions of family, friends, YouTube and Pinterest start flowing in. You get stressed at the cost as well as all the work that has to go into creating this fairytale and then you just want to take the easiest possible route.

Midway, you have to take a step back and really figure out what type of wedding YOU really want to have. Stop trying to please everyone else and remember what this day is really about. It is about getting married to the love of your life. Don’t stress yourself trying to create this perfect setting because guess what! HE doesn’t care! He only cares about marrying you and making you happy! Trust me, I know! I sometimes find myself going to my fiancé to get his opinion on flowers or centerpieces or even what party favors we should have because it’s his wedding too and his opinion matters to me. But  based on his nonchalant responses, I’ve realized this man doesn’t care about all these details that I care about. He, just like most grooms just want to show up, say ”I do” and have a good time with his wife and those closest to him. And who can really blame them? If only us brides had it so simple!

A lot of brides want to create a setting that they can take pride in, they want people to walk in and think how beautiful everything looks and what a great wedding it is. They want their wedding to be spoken about for months later. This is precisely why they go all out and in the process, rack up a hefty bill. You also have to remember that this wedding is for one day! For the average bride, you need to ask yourself these questions; “what about the rest of your lives? what about being able to live after?” After this day, you need to be able to purchase a home if you haven’t got one already, and have enough money aside to start a fairly financially stable life together. It’s not wise to start your life in debt because you ended up having a wedding that went way past your budget.

My tips thus far:

  1. Create a budget and stick to it! – You have to know where you want to give a little and where you want to hold back. For instance, if photography and videography is important to you then splurge a bit on that so you get the quality you’re looking for. Whereas, if party favors aren’t too important, then hold back on those.
  2. Hire a capable, effective and efficient wedding planner! – This is a must if you cannot deal with the stresses of planning your own wedding. This is me! I feel overwhelmed so easily that I am so lucky to be having the best wedding coordinators. This is also important because on your wedding day, you will not want to lift a finger or be stressed in any way. You will need someone to ensure everything is running smoothly, to ensure that vendors are paid and to ensure that everything is set up on the morning of, just to list a few. Weddings can go from 0-100 real quick!
  3. Rely on your bridal party!- They are your friends who love you and who want to help! My bridesmaids are continuously asking to help and God knows I appreciate them! They want to be involved in the planning of your big day so let them! It will take a huge load of you and it will make them feel so involved so you really can’t lose. 🙂
  4. Split up responsibilities among family members!- They too want to help and be involved in your big day so allow them too.

Even though planning your wedding may be one of the most stressful tasks out there, us brides have to try to bask in the moment and remember ”Hey! I’m planning my wedding!!” and just revel in that for a bit, because most times, once it’s over, you probably won’t be having another in this lifetime!

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